I read this article this week that made me really hope for my future. It was probably the first positive thing about relationships after sexual abuse that I have ever read. I'm not going to lie, relationships scare me. Which isn't fair. I didn't choose to be abused, and I shouldn't have to deal with the consequences. Sometimes it seems like I am being punished, when I am not who should be punished.
And this man, this wonderful man, was there for his wife every step of the way. From her confession through the crisis stage of her healing, and through to the end. He supported her and her feelings, never pressing her, just listening and offering support. He gave her space when she needed it, and stayed attentive.
This is what I hope to find someday. I didn't really think about dating when I started this page. I posted a video outing myself and plastered it all over my Facebook. Through donations (thanks to anyone who has donated, by the way!) I have also boosted that post, sending it all across the country. Anyone that I potentially date will have the opportunity to see that post, and they will know all of my baggage. And that is scary. It's always a conversation I imagined myself having on a quiet night in, when I could look him in the eye and talk about it face to face. He could ask questions, and I would do my best to stay calm, and hope and pray it didn't scare him off. Now, I could potentially scare him off before we ever get to that point. This article gives me hope. I hope that I will find a man like Grant, one who will listen to me when I need him to, give me space if I need it, and understand my concerns.
I would love to hear other thoughts about this. If anyone has stories about their partners helping them through a crisis like Liz's, or stories of unconditional support. They give me hope, and hopefully they give other survivors hope as well.
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